oh the joys of goals and incentives.
for the past month i've been so worried about how hurt and upset over everything i was, i lost track of who i was, where i am, and what i need to be doing. lol not to mention just a tad bit depressed to toss in there too.
today, i got a new fire under my sorry ass. i have a goal, more like a personal fucking mission. i will try a lot harder to get a job, i will get a job. i'm sick of my brother supporting me, i am not going to be a mooch. i don't care if i have to make minimum fucking wage, i will have a job soon.
i sat around worried about what happened and why. now i'm more concerned on doing something about it, about me. also i'm quitting smoking agian. i smoke more now than i did before i quit. thankfully quitting smoking is fairly easy for me.
there has to be something out there to make my life better than it is now, and i've got to find it.
i've spent most of the afternoon lost in thought, with my head spinning. time for a brighter, more colorful change. things were as close to perfect as can be, once upon a time, and they can be again, and even more so.