last night She sent me into space, and it was nice for a while. She was reminding me just where my place is, and where i stand (or kneel) on everything. explaining to me how it will be, for me to be Her slave. which is getting easier for me to grasp. i will give Her everything with no hesitation. but then, She scared me... cos sometimes i do get lost in Her, in Her voice, in Her words. i can feel when She wants to push me further. i don't remember what exactly triggered it, but i paniced. Her voice immediately changed and i couldn't breathe. i could hear Her tone, calming and soothing, but for a while, i never get what She's saying. i hit little space so hard. i wished She was there to hold me. for some reason though, i always feel that much closer to Her after times like that. when i get scared, or panic, or anything for that matter, She's always right there.

6 days