ok, in four days, i'll be at Her feet. i'm more nervous now than i have been. i'm so excited, anxious, scared, nervous, happy, i'm a big fuckin mess is what i am.
yesterday, i broke down another one of my walls. i've been honest with Her about everything. me, my past, all of it. there has just been one thing that i kept from Her, and couldn't stand it any longer. i've never even told my parents. honestly, i just couldn't take not telling Her. i felt like i was keeping something from Her. i was scared. scared She would see me differently, or feel different towards me. once again, this wonderful Woman has proved me absolutely wrong, and made me feel good about myself. She's helping me see that i am a good person now. reguardless of my past, and who i was. i am not that person any more. i just wanted to curl up in Her lap and cry yesterday. i know She feels my hurt, i can hear it in Her voice, and feel it in Her reactions. it's times like those that we seem so far away, and helpless. at the same time though they bring us so much closer together, and stronger than before.